Friday, 6 February 2009

Where do I turn now?

This has got to have been the best time I've had at office in a while. And I suppose I owe it mostly, if not entirely to the fact that I am now absolutely addicted to snowboarding! Life sucks though. In ways that really hurt. The 'life sucks, period' kind of way.

I am thankful for one perfect day. I am regretting everything around it for weeks before (and probably after, and do note the plural, there's loads of weeks involved here, come to think of it).

I am aware of how little time it takes to make the awesomest of connections, with people, as with places, things, ideas. And equally, and much more painfully, aware of how little it takes to shatter it all to a million shards of blood stained mirror glass, each with a tiny fragment of you trapped in it forever. Till you lose it, or forget about it. Or till it forgets about you.

I am questioning every choice I have ever made. I am doubting every choice I'm making that will probably dictate my life in the near (and maybe not so near) future.

I am tired. I am wired. I am worried. I am scared. (Obviously. What do you think? I'm the uber stable, fundamentally not-crazy, rational being I try to make myself out to be? Hell no!!!)

I will be back here at the end of March, and the guy at the last ski slope I went to, last night, said that the snow stays put till the end of April. So there is hope yet.

Oh yes. It's all about the snowboarding.

Feeling: weird
Listening to: Moby - Live for tomorrow

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