Another day, another sunrise...

Yup, still here. Here being offshore Angola :-<. The days are beginning to melt into one another. Heh, that sounds awfully familiar, doesn't it? The difference being that in this case, the days tend to be quite significantly different as such. There is just that overwhelming thing in common, we're still here :|. Good thing is the food situation has improved dramatically, thanks to a much needed re-supply! There's even some chocolate lying around :D. With over a third of the crew actually homebound (lucky bastards :|), and their replacements yet to arrive, the ship has a somewhat deserted feel to it. Lots of empty cabins. Interesting thing is most of the guys who were sharing cabins earlier haven't bothered to spread out. I guess we are more or less past caring... Not that a six week trip would be a distressingly long one. It's just that as it stands, we are pretty much set to do 150% of the time we were supposed to :|. I realise that there's a bit of a repetitive tone to this :). I suppose the good thing is due to the situation I'm actually able to make it to sunrises and sunsets most days :). I know, I'm really clutching at straws here. And seeing how many times 'crew-change day's have come and gone, the latest edition hasn't been greeted by too much enthusiasm. Well, it has. Some people never learn :).

Currently: guardedly hopeful
Listening to: Finn Brothers - Anything can happen (yes, I am actually listening to this! coincidence? :P)

Keeping head above water

And it gets worse.

So now I'm left counting down from five for the third time this trip.
The colours keep changing. Which is a nice thing I suppose. Moments frozen, trapping more within. Something from the past? Shadows of silver edged clouds. A shiny kind of darkness. And yes, something in my mind freezes up from time to time...Peace is one of the things you might find once the futility of frustration becomes apparent.

Currently: going with the flow
Listening to: depressing music that is surprisingly upbeat!

Good sunrises can be pretty effective anti-depressants. Much like chocolate and ice-cream. We've had a few nice ones this trip. (Not chocolates and ice-cream :|. Now that we have been in Angola for 4 months supplies have dwindled to nothing and we aren't even getting vegetables, so those aren't exactly a priority.) I haven't been able to catch most, thanks to a variety of reasons, but the couple I did get were quite effective :). Even though the effects were short lived...Unfortunately, the last couple of days clouds have messed things up somewhat. And today being crew-change day, well, let's say morale isn't particularly high. This, given that it is indeed crew-change off! Let me explain. A few days back we were informed that this crew change has been 'indefinitely postponed'. Apparently due to unavoidable reasons. Given the circumstances and the sanctity of crew change schedules, there are those that question the unavoidability, so to speak, of said reasons :|. To summarize, everyone's way pissed off. Me included X-(.Yup, the water spout landed up right on sync with the mood on the vessel. First live one I've seen, by the way. Wouldn't want to get caught under one of those while out in the 25' work boat :|.

These last few times out in the small boat though, the weather's been quite nice. That's the one thing they say is good about West Africa, and when it's true, the sea's almost mirror calm! The only other place I've seen it this flat was offshore Myanmar. That was a while back.... Oh and now I've settled with my EOS as the full time 'on-board' camera and the IXUS as exclusively the 'boating' camera :).
Oh well, so no one's got a clue as to when we might actually get out of here this time. I might even miss out on my first planned weekend of snowboarding :-<. In the mean time I'm almost done with season 7 of Scrubs, and having just gone through the first six seasons, again, this trip, I'm feeling a little bit let down. It's just not as funny! :( This trip started off with such promise. Now it's all ending terribly :-<.

Currently: extremely bummed :(
Listening to: Aqualung - Strange and beautiful

Black hole sun

Good things, unfortunately, don't last forever. Or even four weeks :|. One interesting thing that broke the monotony was this special visit to the boat by some big-wigs.
The rest of it, though interesting, wasn't exactly nice. Thanks to the Congo river, that flows into the ocean not far from where we are, every day some massive chunk of fishing gear gets caught up in our spread and makes life miserable :|. Add to that the last few boat trips. Caught in thunderstorms, with lightning strikes way too close for comfort, pelting rain and clouds so dark you can hardly see a mile. Working 10 kilometres away from the boat can feel more than a little bit like floating about in the middle of the ocean in a little dingy with nothing else in sight from horizon to horizon :S.

But that's not even all of it, we're getting close to crew change, and now it's beginning to get really interesting! Guess who's coming to Luanda precisely at the time when we are supposed to be travelling through the place? The Pope! I mean come-on!! Isn't it hard enough already without more complications thrown in?!!!

Over the last couple of crew changes I've spent 6 hours and a day respectively in the hell hole that is Soyo. Going by that progression, I'm looking at the distinct possibility of something incredibly uncomfortable :-<.
-- Some things need to be kept in check. 'Cos once they are out in the open, all hell can break loose. Almost every morning, as I try to force myself awake, a question keeps hammering inside my dazed, sleepy, head. It has been doing this for the better part of three years now. Lately though, I've been tempted to entertain the thought. Big mistake :|. Or not. Anyway, there are now a thousand more battling for attention :-<. Can insubstantial thoughts build up impenetrable walls?

Currently: seeking answers
Listening to: Nina Simone - Sinnerman

A momentary lapse of reason

Some surprises hit you. And once the initial shock has passed, and the reality of it sinks in some more, then that completely floors you. The reality that is, it knocks the wind out of you, or does whatever else it is that it has to, to leave you gasping for air.Most days you can sidestep the blows. Unfortunately the ones that don't miss tend to be the worst ones. Mainly 'cos they land too close to home. Too close to the bits of your life that are not so easy to gloss over once you get to thinking about them. I suppose once you are at that point, it might be worth while to think it through. So far as circumstances allow that is.

Maybe it is best to let go. Holding on too hard never really helps... no?

Currently: catching my breath, so to speak
Listening to: The Fray - How to save a life

Boring seismic is good seismic

Or so they say.

These days profound thoughts have a way of making an appearance right about the time I'm just slipping out of consciousness. (As in, as I fall asleep! :|) And it is quite irritating. I obviously can't recall much about said thoughts, but for the profundity /:).

The other thing that has been substantially more irritating is that I keep waking up in the middle of the night (well, early evening in the real world, given my sleeping habits on-board). The worst thing is I'm usually way too muddled to notice anything but the minute hand. Even that feat is a continuous source of surprise to me. But then once I've brushed my teeth, and washed my face, and generally arrived at a marginally more wakeful state, I realise that it's a good 2 or 3 or even 5 hours too early for shift :-<.

And this is happening way too often this trip :(. Makes me wonder... Not a lot has been happening this trip so far. Which is good, in a way. I could use a quiet trip. Haven't had one of those in over a year and a half, come to think of it. Oh! Someone finally managed to get DVDs of Scrubs Season 7, so that's keeping me entertained off shift :).

Currently: adrift
Listening to: Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright - Set fire to the third bar