Monsoon tales

It's been a few days now that I've been here in Kolkata. And for the most part it's been a lot of fun. Even when it isn't outright great, a sense of nostalgia seems to kick in and make things better. For the first time that I can remember, I feel like I am looking in from the outside rather than settling in smoothly into the mix.

Which is not to say that the old habits haven't kicked in :-). It's just that they haven't done so quite as seamlessly as before. Take driving, for instance. It wasn't till the second afternoon I was here that I actually got behind the wheel! Not bad, you'd think, for a 19 month break from any sort of right hand driving, let alone Indian driving, but it is. The reason is that it wasn't just my mom who was reluctant, I was too! Fortunately though, since then regular service has more or less resumed. Except, I can still feel myself having to make the effort. And I notice when the old habits take over and I let them...

Having said that, the weather's been pretty awesome :-). The temperature has been perfect and the thunderstorms proper, with all the tremendous thunder and lightning I remember from monsoons past. The only trouble is with the constant overcast skies. Can't have everything I suppose.

It's been almost hectic, the first few days. But now things can hopefully calm down a little, even if for a day or two. More family visits are looming in the near future and there's barely ten days to go before my flight back. I knew two weeks was never going to feel like enough. When has it ever?

In the mean time though, I'm looking forward to more meetings catching up and conversation around the house. My Bangla is almost back to free flowing :-D. 

Currently: at home!

Listening to: the wind that is strong yet not the least freezing

Grass, clouds and sky

Things change slowly so you don't really notice. No big steps, just a gradual flow. But when a bend in the river takes you within sight of another bend from your past, you see then, where you were and where you are. How far you have come :). Is it so important to know exactly how you got from there to here? Maybe. Either way, it's nice to notice the change :).

Fluffy white clouds and blanketing grey ones. But in between, bright blue and sunshine. Once I've reconciled to the weather, the summer is going quite well! Golden sunshine, green grass, blue skies, deeper blue water. Although it's turning quite inky dark blue in the evenings these days. Even when there aren't any clouds. I wonder how much of the day will be lost to night by the time I am back. And how tall my recently mowed grass will have grown :).

I am at a bit of a loss with the packing to be honest! On the one hand I am going home. Well, to my parents'. What used to be referred to as 'home home' in times past, but not exactly certain that quite applies any more. The thoughts are a bit under construction on that one. Rather like the underpass they have been building next to work for well over a year now. I mean you can see things are changing, but it never seems anywhere closer to getting fully done :).

Anyway, I finally decided to take some books, very few clothes and that's about it. Oh right, passport and toothbrush too :D. I've decided to try this trip plug-in-music free. The idea is to try and get out of all the habits that had ended up making travelling such a chore, merely an attempt to get from point a to b in the least time and discomfort possible. Maybe it is time to start noticing the journeying again.

Currently: excited and hopeful :)
Listening to: Mumford & Sons - Believe

Deca

Time has mastered the mother of all ninja tricks. Its ability to creep up on you is what I refer to here. There are probably more lethal parallels that could be drawn, but let's leave that out of this for now :). Ten years. Sounds like a long time, doesn't it? Some days I wonder where they went.

A month even, that's how long it's taken me to get back to an update and I almost didn't notice. It looks like a slow (or maybe not quite so slow) slide to a stop. Or that I have run out of things to write about. Neither is the case, and now and again time presents a kind part of itself when nothing else has grabbed my attention or captured my imagination.

I was reading some very old posts recently. The 'oh! today I did this, or wow! today I saw this' and so on variety :). I suppose one may say the blog has grown up a little. And yet, thoughts and feelings remain just as elusive to capture and bind into words today as a decade ago. Except some moments. When the feelings seem to write themselves into lines and curves and angles that seem made just for them. Sentences, words.

--

The feeling has struck me not once, but several times in the past month or so, that this is summer, right now! The sense that maybe something else (or more) is about to come around the corner is all well and good, but likelier than not, that's autumn... The days feel like they last almost forever still, but they are getting shorter. For the first time in a while, tonight I notice the sky completely dark outside. Without even the slightest hint of twilight.

And when I think about it, we have had some fantastic days and weeks. Just not all together :). This has been a summer of collected days. The gold, blue and green appear in measured amounts. Thankfully, we have managed to make some good use of it :). Lazy walks and only slightly less lazy rides. Lying amidst seemingly endless green, looking up at endless blue.

There is of course, more of summer yet, but I will be away for a part of that. I can hardly believe the long overdue trip to India is only a handful of days away! I've had my flights booked for a third of a year now, of course, a lot has happened in between :).

--

It's funny how catching up with someone and trailing fingers through collective intertwined strands of memories brings so much else back. Here's to more adventures and thoughts.

Currently: reminiscing
Listening to: Imagine Dragons - Second chances

Cumulonimbus

It's not quite the summer I'd have hoped for, so far. But that doesn't make it bad, necessarily. It's just a bit difficult to get used to spring all over again after it had gotten so close to proper summer weather.

Sigh.

Oh well, at least there's been a bit of cycling going on. On new roads, mostly. There's a sad thing about getting used to stuff. Nice things. But of course if it drives you to find new things that are nice, it's not all bad.

--

Dark clouds do have their moments. There have been a few days recently when I'd look up and find the very definition of towering and ominous in the most awe-striking (if that is actually a word) sense.

I'm caught in what I can only explain as a feeling of time jumps. The real passage of time has ended up seeming stretched in some things and shrunken in others. I have the feeling that I should probably stop a little. Catch my breath, take stock of things.

But then the passage of time in the present seems so immediate and full of details and potential. There's a bit from some dialogue in a film that I'm reminded of. Let's see how omniscient Google is.... ha!

Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go.
But still had the feeling that you wanted to stay.

Something like that, but more with looking and turning away. Sort of. :)

There's always more things to do than time to do them in and at the same time more time than I want that slips by with seemingly less done than I probably should have.

Yes, sigh.

Currently: overcast and too cold for summer
Listening to: Darude - Out of control

A case of time travel through seasons

Endings inevitably bring memories. Nostalgia, sometimes. Maybe relief. Or regret?

Even when things aren't particularly close to one's heart there are bits of flotsam from the past that surface, even if briefly.

Not a bad thing necessarily. It's just hard to look in earnest for the beginnings that await on the other side. Much harder than to speak of them.

It isn't just the matter of the unknown. Although that plays a big part, I suspect.

--

I find myself unable to draw the straight lines of a narrative to join a series of photographs together. Not in a way that makes a story anyway. One that might make sense in, well, any sensible way :). Keeping that in mind, here goes.

There are certain images that have the capacity to completely warp the idea of seasons. Like summer in the midst of endless stretches of snow. But when that turns into spring flowers along very deep, very blue and very still water bodies, things start getting quite interesting.

There's something mesmerising in the way roads can wrap themselves around a landscape. Not big roads. Those just thrust and cut their way through. Little ones. Narrow and twisting ones. Ones where low speeds seem fast, and faster speeds feel incredible.

Clouds of mist thrown up by immeasurable amounts of water rushing over rock. Old rock. Getting slowly eroded into new shapes. The noise is terrifying in the quiet. But the views are spectacular. They tame your fear and draw you closer. Trapped in awe.

Some trips have a way of morphing from one kind of spectacular to another so rapidly and continuously that it is almost impossible to remember quite all of it :). But then that's Norway for you.

I'm glad I've chosen to stay.

Currently: settling
Listening to: Kygo - Firestone