Don't look back in anger

Yes, the end of year post. Practically obligatory at this point, fifteen years after I wrote my first one on this blog! Although, interestingly enough, that first post was very much not a "so what's this last year been like" one :).

Fifteen years. Feels like a noticeable chunk of life, doesn't it? Less than half my life at this point though, and only going to get smaller from here on :D. All this time later though, one thing remains the same. Life moves forward, but in moving forward with it, I find great comfort in being able to look back. Reminisce, ponder, wonder...

I have to say though, this is a year I wouldn't have seen coming. I can't imagine anyone did! At the turn of the last year I remember thinking, 2020, the big one. A notable line in the sand. If only for the curious roundness of the number. For the whole previous decade, there'd been all those 2020 plans, targets, agendas and what not else. All blown to bits by tiny pieces of protein wrapped DNA spirals... Although who knows, some "2020-targets" may well have been achieved precisely because of Covid.

I suppose it would be very easy to descend into a look at all the things that look so dark right now, vaccine approvals notwithstanding. After all, much has been lost. A collective sense of innocence in a way. (For bad or good, depending I guess very much on the perspective, and in the end it may well turn out to be a mix, much like anything in life I imagine.) But maybe the thing I've learnt over the last months, or at least a learning strongly reinforced, is that the way to look forward is with gratefulness and in hope. And the same may be applied to looking back.

The sense I have is one of space. Not necessarily physical space, although that too, obviously, but mental space. Space to stop a bit, pause and take a look around. Life as usual kinda stopped anyway, and it was good to re-evaluate that usual and see what was actually of value. I can't say I've managed to sort through everything. 

Maybe I could describe that as a bit like sorting out that attic in the summer holidays. It felt like something that you had loads of time for, but after getting through the bits around the entrance, other things ended up feeling more interesting. Or maybe you just lost that momentum. And then the summer was over, and life moved on.

I guess what I'm trying to say is we probably took a good look at a few things. Drew some conclusions. Decided to make some changes. And then never really managed to do the same for everything we maybe should have taken an equally good look at. But I feel that's ok, some things will hopefully be better going forward. I'm not perfect, and that is ok. Life is all about the moment that is, and not just waiting around for the perfect moment.

Which is not to say the perfect moment doesn't come by regardless, from time to time :). We only ended up going on the snow once last winter. A long downhill weekend to Hemsedal. And what an awesome trip that was :). Then there was the "surprise" visit literally the weekend before everything shut down, so that we could see some family about as recently as we could have!

There were also the cycling trips to Grimsdalen and the amazing and still frankly stupefying trip through Hallingdal and Numedal in the summer. I know we did it! And it was amazing! But part of me still thinks that was crazy :). To be fair though, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the cycling this summer! For once, all my hopes of getting some proper cycling done were fulfilled :). Yes, I didn't do the most cycling I've ever done in a year (that would still be the first summer after I moved to Norway :D), but it was great!

I guess work will never really be the same again. I'd never have thought about working from home on a regular basis, for a variety or reasons. But now it seems silly not to! But I guess I'm firmly on the part time bin on that one, i.e. I'd love the ability to work from home most days of the week, but would still like to be able to go in a few times a week just to keep the social connections and face to face discussions going. 

In some ways that's something that I have come to appreciate quite a lot in these last nine months or so. It is obviously great that we have the tools to be able to chat with family on three continents at the same time, make remote colleagues feel more a part of the team, catch up with friends we haven't seen together for ages... But meeting face to face is something else entirely!

And it's not even like I'm the most extroverted person there is. In many ways it's been very easy for me, this period of enforced reduction of intermingling. We do love our own little bit of space. Of course, I can imagine it makes a huge difference that it's the two of us. I can't even begin to imagine what this year must have felt like for people living by themselves :(.

I do wonder though, is it going to be harder to pick up on my (in some ways) hard earned social skills, once we do start getting back to some sort of a new normal of mingling? My hope is it'll be a bit like cycling as they say - once you've learnt it, you never forget :).

Anyhow, winding my way down to this last month, it's been a clear case of two opposite halves. The first, one of pretty extreme amounts of stress related to deadlines and deliveries at work (rather unlike the same period last year :P). Although in the end everything went about as well as they could have gone :). And then these last couple of weeks of amazingly relaxed enjoyment of the holidays.

Having not taken much by way of holidays through the year, I had enough to carry over the most number of days allowed into the next year, and still take the last two weeks completely off :D. And we spent it cooking amazing Christmas food, eating said food, spending a fair bit of time chatting to family and friends, and just relaxing at home. Enjoying reading books aloud and watching snow fall.

Yes! There is snow that seems intent on sticking around! And while we've ventured out into it, we have not yet been out cross-country skiing. Something we can hopefully rectify tomorrow as some of the local tracks seem to have had a nice amount of prepping! That is definitely something to look forward to in the new year!

Another, hopefully, would be being able to meet family in person again. I guess in some ways the world has felt a bit bigger and farther apart this year. Regardless, the things I have come to value the most are health and peace of mind, in times when especially the latter may be hard to find, yet well worth looking for :).

So that is what I wish everyone this New Year, health and peace of mind! Happy New Year!